i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
