My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize