No awkward lesbian experiences without me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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