shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
