all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
