Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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