is your mom at the bar?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
