Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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