wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
