Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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