I didn't shave. On purpose
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I smell like Dick and happiness
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