If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize