the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
