He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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