I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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