so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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