Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
