Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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