I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize