Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
