there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
