I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
