A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
