well you can't waste a boner
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
then he tried to convert me to islam
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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