hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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