My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
