New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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