SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
