I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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