I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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