you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
