i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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