he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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