You're my little dorito
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize
