Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
