I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize