living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize