the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Someone came in the potted fern
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
