dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
