She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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