At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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