That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
