I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
