Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
