capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
