I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
