It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Fuck appropriateness.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
