i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
