She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he thought i was a dude.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
