It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
