I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize