Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
