You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize