He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
