I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
