I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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