Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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