dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
